Capitol Observations: A Secondhand Account of the Insurrection

Capitol Observations — January 6, 2021

• The pretentious, pompous, incompetent president presides over the insurrectionist’s party.
• Treasonous flags fly fervently from rafters while attendees pray and salute.
• Maskless madmen march with blinders on and follow men who mislead them.
• Parents train children to commit treason rather than teach them to treat others well.
• Fellas fight for another lost cause and fail miserably. *Heathens climb concrete walls and cause chaos.
• Cooperative cops take pictures with the crowd.
• Concerned cops try to control the crowd with little support.
• Ravenous barbarians break windows and bust through Capitol doors.
• A seething woman storms the Capitol halls and is hit by a Sig Sauer.
• Lawmakers and staff leave the meeting and make their way to mysterious meeting places.
• Lawmakers return, and some Republicans are oblivious to the day’s events and absolve themselves of their responsibility for the day’s occurrences.
• FBI tries to find fake patriots who failed at fighting a frivolous battle.
• The legacy of losing continues.